Blah Number Two: Home

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My thoughts on home ^.

What does home mean to you? I mean really.

What does house mean to you? I mean really.

You know there's a difference right.

House holds my family
Home holds my friends
House holds injustice
Home holds happiness
House holds unfairness
Home holds freedom

My house is no longer my home. But then again, I don't remember the last time it was. I had to grow up when I was 11. I started doing more housework than the other kids. I started babysitting. I just felt like I was doing more. For less. Heck, the pastor of my church calls me Matilda and Cinderella. Do you know what those characters have in common? Look it up.

I just don't understand it sometimes. I don't know how to explain it.

Nevermind how about this:

I DON'T LIKE BEING AT MY HOUSE.

I WANT TO BE HOME

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE HOME IS

HOME IS NOT MY HOUSE. IT'S TOO CONFINING. IT'S TOO UNFAIR (yes unFAIR). IT'S TOO DEMANDING. IT'S TOO PREDICTABLE.

HOME IS NOT SCHOOL. IT'S TOO TEMPORARY. IT'S TOO JUDGEMENTAL. IT'S TOO DEMANDING. IT'S TOO PREDICATABLE. SOMETIMES, IT'S TOO MUCH LIKE HOUSE.

HOME IS NOT AT A FRIENDS HOUSE. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS LIKE THAT.

HOME IS NOT CHURCH. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CHURCH.

HOME IS BOOKS. MUSIC. FRIENDS. LOVE.
AND NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS AT ALL.
BOOKS WILL END.
MUSIC CAN'T STAY THE SAME
FRIENDS ARE TOO JUDGEMENTAL
LOVE IN THIS WORLD IS CONDITIONAL--AT BEST.









I'M EMOTIONALLY HOMELESS.





WILL WORK FOR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.



SOMETIMES I FEEL LOST
ALL THE TIME.