Fragments of Abandonment

It's an interesting title isn't it?

But here's the thing.

I'm living those.

In every aspect of my life there are these little fragments of abandonment. They show up in situations and they make me re-evaluate even the tiniest detail. And I can't live like that anymore. I've got to get rid of them. And in order to get rid of them I have to first:

Recognize Them

Seems simple right? But I've been living with these issues my whole life. I'm being completely honest when I say that I don't really know what these issues look like. It's just in the last few months that I've even recognized the fact that I HAVE these issues, let alone actually finding specific examples. So for me to actually recognize specific times that my abandonment issues are coming into play is going to take a lot of work. So, after I have recognized them what's next?

Evaluate

Are the things I'm feeling "normal" or "abandonment"? And then act accordingly. If they are abandonment issues then I have to re-evaluate. Find another way to go about things. Another way to look at them. The last thing I have to do is

Live It

It's one thing to recognize it and evaluate it but that is not going to do anything for me if I don't put what I've learned into practice!

Now these three steps sound simple enough, but actually doing them, that's an entirely different story. But I'm confident that with God, the help of Brandon (my Counselor) and the help of my friends and family, I know that one day, I will be able to do this.