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I just feel like writing now. I don't know what and I don't know why. I just so desperately don't want to write it because writing it makes it a reality which is crap because written or not it's a reality. But its not like its bad I've just been here so many times before and it's NEVER worked. So I want it to be different. But it's not different. This time I'm gonna shut up about it. I can't do this again. But it's not like I'm even DOING ANYTHING. But I'm doing everything the same! I just. . . . .God, I need help. But is it wrong if I don't want the same "help" I've gotten before? Is it wrong if I want this one to

I just can't think like this anymore!

When The World Comes Down

Here's another pity there's another chance
Try to learn a lesson but you can't
If we can burn a city in futures and in past,
without a change our lives will never last.
Cause we're going fast.

You can sit beside me when the world comes down, if it doesn't
matter then just turn around.
We don't need our bags and we can just leave town.
You can sit beside me when the world comes down.

What can we do better, when will we know how?
A man says from a sidewalk to a crowd.
If we can change the weather, if you want it to yourself.
If you cannot guess we all need help, yeah, I NEED HELP.

(repeat chorus)

We say
We do
The Lies
The Truth
All I need is next to me.

Mmmmmmmmmmm yeahhhh we're going fast

You can sit beside me when the world comes down, if it doesn't
matter then just turn around.
You be the queen and I'll be your clown,
You can sit beside me when the world comes down.

you see that part up there? that's big and says 'I need help' It's true. I need it. i need a lot of it. and I guess I've just never really liked the thought about needing help. i never need help, i help people who need help. . .so why was it that as I'm sitting here listening to Mona Lisa (When The World Comes Down) by All-American Rejects on repeat. . .I've heard the song a million times and it was just tonight that I heard it. If you cannot guess we all need help, yeah, I need help. and I couldn't believe it. because it was at that moment that I really felt like i needed help. like there was nothing that zach, lacey, stephanie, faith, molly, or anyone but GOD could do. and that i really do need help because I've been keeping everything held up inside for so long. . . .which is hilarious really cuz everyone who knows me agrees that i'm an open book and i'll tell you everything there is to know about me. except the part about being human. you know the part that's willing to admit their wrong and they can't fix everything on their own? yeah i never need help. or if i do i never tell them the real reason. I need help. I'm trying to drill it in because it's coming from all sides...the cries and pleas screaming that i'm normal and don't need any help. well guess what. WE ALL NEED HELP. I NEED HELP and most people would argue that this isn't really a big deal, but it is. I need help. I need to go aldersgate. I'm going to get help, I'm going to aldersgate.