Cuz that's what I am. Well sort of. I'm talented. At least some seem to think so. But I'm too afraid. Afraid that people will judge me. Afraid that I'm actually not all that talented. Afraid that I'm going to fail miserably. I hate that I'm so confident on the outside and so scared on the inside. Why is it so hard to admit that I write songs. Why do I always end up throwing away things I make or write? Why is it so hard to admit that I'm good at something? Or when I do admit I never take full credit. I alway pass it off as easier than it was. Am I really afraid of recognition? Is that it? I'm even afraid to send an anonymous postcard. I was telling my new found friend via text about this and his response threw me. It also kind of made me mad. All he said was 'Silly silly' and I was like what?! Dude you barely know me! We've only been texting for like two days so you have no right to tell me that these things that I'm feeling about something I've only told you are silly. Who are you to judge me like that and tell me that what I feel deep down inside is silly? Thats kind of when it hit me. Wait a sec. He's not judging me. Not really. He's actually just telling me the truth. There's a song by Big Time Rush (yeah go ahead judge me on that musical crap too) it's called Famous. And it says Just one thing you can't forget takes more than just wanting it. Aim high never rest put your passion to the test. Give your all never less famous means that you're the best. So it kind of hit me like this one time when i was little and i tried to lift a heavy board over my head and i slipped on the snow and the board fell right on top of me and the air inside of me just left. I've got make an effort. I've got to put all these Silly silly fears behind me and just do it. Like nike. Just do it. Don't look back. And don't ever let those silly fears stop me again. So I guess thanks goes out to Justin Herb. Thanks for criticizing me without knowing it. You've kind of inspired me to start being the confident person anyone who's met me thinks I am. And I swear if you ever sing that song to me again when you don't fit the profile I'm going to murder you.
thanks bye.
